Co-Parenting with an Ex Who Refuses to Pay Child Support
- James Chau
- Jul 10
- 2 min read

Co-parenting is challenging even in the best of circumstances. When your ex refuses to pay court-ordered child support, it can strain both your finances and your emotional well-being. You're left shouldering the full responsibility of raising your child, while also navigating the frustrations of an uncooperative co-parent.
If you’re in this situation, know that you’re not alone, and you do have options. California law provides multiple ways to enforce child support while still maintaining focus on your child’s well-being.
Know Your Rights: Child Support in California
In California, once a child support order is issued by the court, it is legally binding. That means the paying parent is required to follow the terms, whether or not they agree with them. Missing payments isn’t just irresponsible—it’s a violation of a court order.
California courts prioritize the best interests of the child. This includes financial support from both parents to ensure the child’s basic needs are met. If your ex is behind on payments or refuses to contribute altogether, you have the right to seek enforcement.
Legal Options to Enforce Child Support in California
The California Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) and family courts offer several tools to help enforce unpaid support:
Wage Garnishment: Support can be automatically deducted from the paying parent’s paycheck.
Tax Refund Intercepts:Â Federal and state tax refunds may be redirected to cover unpaid support.
Driver’s License Suspension: Non-paying parents may have their driver’s license or professional license suspended.
Property Liens and Bank Levies:Â The state can place liens on property or freeze bank accounts until the debt is paid.
Passport Denial:Â If arrears exceed $2,500, a passport application may be denied or revoked.
Contempt of Court:Â Repeated refusal to pay can result in contempt charges, which may lead to fines or even jail time.
These options are designed to help you collect what’s owed—without having to engage in personal conflict.
Communicating with a Difficult Co-Parent
While legal enforcement is crucial, it’s also essential to protect your child from unnecessary stress. Co-parenting with someone who isn’t fulfilling their responsibilities can be frustrating, but maintaining clear boundaries and civil communication benefits your child in the long run.
Consider the following strategies:
Keep It Businesslike: Communicate like you’re interacting with a coworker. Stick to facts and logistics.
Use Co-Parenting Apps:Â Platforms like TalkingParents or OurFamilyWizard keep communication organized, documented, and neutral.
Avoid Heated Exchanges: If your ex tries to provoke you, don’t take the bait. Focus on your child, not the conflict.
Document Everything: Keep records of missed payments, communications, and interactions—this can be crucial in court.
You don’t need to tolerate disrespect, but you also don’t need to engage in every battle. The goal is to ensure your child has what they need, both emotionally and financially.
Start Moving Forward with Trusted Legal Guidance
If your ex isn’t paying child support, it’s not just a financial issue—it’s a legal one. Family law attorney James Chau helps California parents enforce child support orders and restore stability to their lives.
Learn more about how James Chau can help with child support enforcement at https://www.jameschaulaw.com/child-support
Phone: 408-899-8364Contact form: https://www.jameschaulaw.com/contact